Screw the Emmy?s and their horrible system.
Welcome to the First Annual Butt-Groove Awards. The winners of each category are below in bold, but before we get started William Shatner, our host for the evening, has a few words to share:
?It?s an honor?to be here, tonight. I want to thank? my loyal fans. For always supporting me—?
?Mr. Shatner!?
?Of course I need to thank the woman— I?ve slept with. Without them? I just wouldn?t be— William–.?
?Shatner!?
?What??
?This isn?t an event for you. This is the First Annual Butt-Groove Awards. You?re the host.?
?Good godman? shouldn?t George Takei be? hosting??
?No. This isn?t a gay thing. This is for TV shows that keep us glued to our seats, causing Butt-Grooves in our couches and chairs.?
?Ever see— the original Enterprise?s captain chair? I made a butt-groove? so fine that none ever? has compared.?
?That?s uhhh? nice, but can you just go ahead and honor those TV shows and actors that kept us glued to our seats for the 2005-2006 TV season??
?I am being paid?for this??
?Yes. We got you two Swedish virgins and Rachel Ray to be your personal chef for a month, exactly like you requested. Then, it was harder, but we were able to get a pair of Candice Bergen’s underwear.”
?Excellent— Let’s take this award show… to warp four. Out first category is– ?Best Hour Long Show??

Best Hour Long Show
Lost (ABC)
Grey?s Anatomy (ABC)
Gilmore Girls (WB)
Veronica Mars (UPN)
Deadwood (HBO)

Best Half Hour Show
The Office (NBC)
Scrubs (NBC)
Entourage (HBO)
My Name is Earl (NBC)
Arrested Development (HBO)

Best Reality TV Show
American Idol (Fox)
Project Runway (Bravo)
America?s Top Model (UPN)
Dancing With The Stars (ABC)
Survivor (CBS)

Best Male Actor in Hour Long Show
Patrick Dempsey (Derek Shepherd) - Grey’s Anatomy
Hugh Laurie (Gregory House) - House
Kiefer Sutherland (Jack Bauer) - 24
Isaiah Washington (Preston Burke) ? Grey?s Anatomy
Matthew Fox (Jack Shephard) - Lost

Best Female Actor in Hour Long Show
Lauren Graham (Lorelai Gilmore) ? Gilmore Girls
Ellen Pompeo (Meredith Grey) ? Grey?s Anatomy
Sandra Oh (Christina Yang) ? Grey?s Anatomy
Kristin Bell (Veronica Mars) ? Veronica Mars
Kyra Sedgwick (Brenda Leigh Johnson) ? The Closer

Best Male Actor in Half Hour Show
Zach Braff ? (J.D.) - Scrubs
Larry David (himself) ? Curb Your Enthusiasm
Steve Carnell (Michael Scott) ? The Office
Jeremy Piven (Ari Gold) ? Entourage
Jason Bateman (Michael Bluth) ? Arrested Development

Best Female Actor in Half Hour Show
Cheryl Hines (Cheryl David) ? Curb Your Enthusiasm
Sarah Chalke (Elliot Reid) ? Scrubs
Lisa Kudrow (Valerie Cherish) ? The Comeback
Jenna Fischer (Pam Beasley) ? The Office
Alyson Hannigan (Lily Aldrin) ? How I Met Your Mother

Best Dad on TV
Enrico Colantoni (Keith Mars) - Veronica Mars
John C. McGinley (Perry Cox) ? Scrubs
Treat Williams (Andy Brown) ? Everwood
Harold Perrineau (Michael Dawson) - Lost
Jason Bateman (Michael Bluth) ? Arrested Development

Best Mom on TV
Kelly Bishop (Emily Gilmore) ? Gilmore Girls
Lauren Graham (Lorelai Gilmore) ? Gilmore Girls
Portia de Rossi (Lindsay Bluth F?nke) ? Arrested Development
Felicity Huffman (Lynette Scavo) ? Desperate Housewives
Emilie de Ravin (Claire Littleton) ? Lost

Best ?oh shit? Moment
Michael killing Ana Lucia and Libby, Lost
Beaver is the killer and rapist, Veronica Mars
Marissa Cooper dying, The O.C.
Palmer and Michelle dying in the first five minutes, 24
The Reveal of The Carver, Nip/Tuck

Best Couple That Should Be
Jack (Mathew Fox) and Kate (Evangeline Lilly), Lost
Clark (Tom Welling) and Chloe (Allison Mack), Smallville
Jim (John Krasinski) and Pam (Jenna Fischer), The Office
Izzie (Katherine Heigl) and George (T.R. Knight), Grey?s Anatomy
Dr. Shepard (Patrick Dempsey) and Meredith (Ellen Pompeo), Grey?s Anatomy

Saddest Moment of Last Season
Denny?s death, Grey?s Anatomy
Jack?s death, Alias
Amy and Ephram on the Ferris Wheel, Everwood
Hurely hurt after Libby?s death, Lost
Veronica thinking her father is dead, Veronica Mars

Worst Moment of Last Season
7th Heaven ending and then being renewed by CW, causing Everwood to be canceled
Lorelai and Christopher sleeping together on Gilmore Girls
The identity of The Carver on Nip/Tuck
Every episode of Desperate Housewives
Vaughn?s obvious not-death on Alias